Earlier today, Madonna adopted a one-year-old African boy named David. Madonna named the boy David because that's the African word for "Publicity Stunt."

At a press conference yesterday, President Bush said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. The President said, "We can't invade North Korea, they actually have weapons of mass destruction."

Scientists in Sweden say that they have discovered homosexual behavior among bees. The homosexual bees don't sting people, but they do make vicious remarks about their weight.

Disney executives are furious about an amateur video that's been circulating that shows Minnie Mouse having sex. Disney executives were shocked and said: "This is the kind of thing we expect from that whore Cinderella."

Yesterday, North Korea conducted a nuclear test, and the blast was so small that many scientists are saying it was a dud. Apparently, the nuclear bomb didn't work well because it was made in Korea.

Several Burger King employees face charges because they cooked marijuana into hamburgers and served them to a couple of police officers. The employees describe the burger as a "really Happy Meal."

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have reportedly patched up their feud by having dinner at a restaurant together. Nicole had the house salad and Paris had the waiter and three busboys.

This weekend, Korean dictator Kim Jong Il defied the United States and tested a nuclear weapon. President Bush responded to Kim Jong Il with a formal letter of protest that begins, "Dear Kimberly..."

MySpace.com said it is launching a voter registration page targeting young adults. Sadly, the only person the MySpace page has attracted so far is former Congressman Mark Foley.